Last Updated on July 8, 2010 by James Dziezynski
The best way I can sum up 2010 thus far: it’s been like dropping a Trapper Keeper bloated with looseleaf paper on a windy day. In the billowing wind, doodles of dragons eating the Metallica logo are indecipherable from pages of actual substance. When all the pieces that can be recovered have been collected, you’re faced with a file of random excerpts of your life, page one rarely proceeding to page two — and some pages lost forever.
While restuffing life’s three ring binder may seem like a task fit for Sisyphus, you have to start somewhere. One of the subjects that I’ve sorely neglected has been my music. I can thank Facebook to some small degree with reconnecting me with a few of my former bandmates, most of whom are still playing in some capacity. In my defense, I’ve not stopped playing but I’ve stopped recording and probably more importantly, I’ve stopped writing and having constructive practices. I can place a small portion of the blame on Boulder itself — it’s a bluegrass, folk-jam have a beer and mellow out music town. Loud, fast, expressive, and energized sounds are not particularly welcome. Not that it should matter but it’s been difficult to find like minded musicians who not only want to rock out but who also prefer creating an original sound rather than striving to mimic what’s already predigested music.
And so last night, I was non-metaphorically searching my computer for the 40-50 bits and pieces of songs I have recorded on my modest home studio over the years. It seems like 2000-2004 were inspired years, with at least 15 complete songs (well, complete for me — everything but vocals). As my computer and recording set up improved, my motivation and drive apprently did not follow suit. I was able to find more recordings, mostly one or two minute song drafts and the last significant recordings were from late in 2008. Then everything goes silent for quite a while.
Part of the problem admittedly was that my new sound card and recording module changed how I programmed MIDI drums, an issue I am just now resolving. But the other part was that life in general has been much less inspired in the last two years. Consider it a major hangover from writing my book and getting a taste at the life I truly want to live, perhaps? Maybe it’s the company I’ve kept or the choices I’ve made in the bigger realm that has infected a lot of my previous passions. Maybe I’m just getting old, who knows?
Whatever the cause, I sat last night and listened to snippets of music past — and I have to admit, I found that I really liked a lot of it, especially stuff I had forgotten writing. Because I’ve not had a sounding board for outside opinions (non-musicians are likely to focus on the lack of vocals or the recording quality vs. the actual composition and ideas) I had given up on the notion that I was writing stuff people would actually like to hear outside of myself. Granted, I’m a biased audience but I still run to certain songs I wrote and wish I had some collaborators to add into the mix and make my ideas better.
In the past few weeks, I’ve been chatting with John and Jason from my REALLY old band days (Sundrill circa 1993) and getting reinspired. It’s too bad they aren’t out in Colorado because I’d have been playing with them weeks ago — maybe years ago! They remind me how FUN music is and how it’s never too late to give it another go, unless of course you’re pushing up daisies or have had your hands, feet and ears amputated.
So music may be the first of the 5-subject papers to get reorganized. There’s still a lot of scattered pieces blowing in the air, but the only way to write new chapters is to build off the old. It’s a good feeling and dare I say a slight inspiration in an era of erosion. Whether or not it culminates in anything profound is irrelevant; I know I’ll like trying and I’ll have a blast doing it — and maybe someone out there will dig my tunes on a long road trip or after a hard day of work.
Good music stays with you. And good friends remind you it’s waiting to be written.
